This Morning
by AntiopeDeThemiscyre
Summary: My first ShizNat one-shot. I'm not really inspired for the summary so, just read :)


**Author's note:** This is my first fan-fiction, I hope you'll like it.

Thanks to my dear friend Leebot for beta-reading it :)

* * *

This morning I was dead.

I didn't know how long I was dead. I didn't know how much time went since I killed us.

I didn't even know where we were. There was no ground, no ceiling. No right, no left. No sound. Nothing.

I no longer had a body, or maybe I just couldn't see it. I felt as if I was floating in a fluid denser than air but lighter than water. It was warm... a comfortable warmth.

I didn't know where she was. I couldn't see her, I couldn't call her. But I could _feel_ her. I knew she was there, with me. Around me. Inside of me. I just had to imagine it and I could see her smile and feel her arms embracing me.

It felt nice.

I felt good.

I felt loved and protected in this warm atmosphere. I wondered if it was the same kind of feelings as in one's mother womb.

Maybe it was that. Maybe I was in a womb, starting a new life. At my own next birth I would probably forget all about my previous life, since I couldn't recall anything about any previous ones.

I just hoped that I would be able to remember her and to meet her in this new life. Would she be my mother? The love that I felt, it was hers, I was sure of that, so if I was in a womb, did this mean that it was _her_ womb? Did this mean that I stayed, well, at least 20 years in limbo while she was starting her own new life?

It was a bit odd to think of her as my mother. It was over elaborate, and I didn't really want to think about that, about the future. I just wanted to let time pass and enjoy these nice feelings.

But then something happened. I was pulled out of this place, but it was not for a new birth, although this shared some common features with an actual birth. I was removed from a warm, silent and reassuring place, to a universe that seemed cold, grey and threatening. It took me some time to realize that I was at exactly the same place as when I died. Except that she was not in my arms anymore. She was standing next to me, crying.

I didn't know why, but we were brought back to life, to our previous life. Maybe she was crying because she too was in a sort of paradise and was snatched from it.

I stood up in front of her. I wanted to take refuge in her arms, to feel her warmth again, but it seemed that she was the one who needed the most some comfort. Moreover I had recovered my inner sense of shyness and restraint. I took a few seconds to gather my thoughts and my words, and then I simply put my hand on her shoulder.

"It's alright Shizuru, it's alright."

She stopped crying and smiled at me, and at that moment I could feel all my strength and my determination coming back. Now I knew why we were resurrected: we had to save the world.

And so we did. With the other HiME, all of them, even those who - like us - were supposed to be dead, we saved the world.

When it was done I felt happy and empty at the same time. I was so tired. Life goes on, and so must we. But after all these difficult moments over the past two years, it was hard to go back to a casual life.

My apartment was destroyed by Nao during the Festival, as was Shizuru's dorm room.

Although I told her I forgave her, she still seemed to feel guilty and awkward with me, so I made the first step.

"Um, Shizuru... My apartment is destroyed, I don't have anywhere to sleep... Could you put me up in your tea house? Just for a few days, to give me time to find another apartment..."

"Of course Natsuki."

Shizuru had always been very good at hiding her emotions, however this time I was able to read her like an open book. I could clearly see the happiness and the relief in her eyes.

She prepared for me the room in which I'd already slept a few days, when I was recovering from my injuries.

This morning I was dead, and now I was alive.

I was lying on a large futon, remembering the days spent here: I was completely in a state of shock after the revelations about my mother, so much that I couldn't even realize how deeply she cared about me. She had stayed at my side all the time and I didn't even thank her. I just hurt her.

I felt the angst of those days haunting me again. I just couldn't bear it. I couldn't bear the coldness and the loneliness anymore.

I needed her warmth. Did this mean that I was in love too? I didn't know.

I knew I deeply care about her. Was it enough?

When I hugged her, I liked it. Was it enough?

When I kissed her, I liked it. Was it enough?

I didn't know. But then I thought that if it wasn't love, then I would never know what it is to be in love.

Silently I stood up and I opened the sliding door that separated our rooms. Cautiously I came closer and I laid against her. I always wondered why in traditional japanese houses, futons were large enough for two or three people, but I wouldn't complain. I slipped under the cover and rested my head on her shoulder. I huddled against her to feel her warmth. She didn't move at all but I could swear I felt her relaxing a bit once I was settled.

I knew she was not sleeping, but neither of us needed to speak. We just enjoyed each other's presence. Now was not the time for words.

Shizuru's warmth.

Shizuru's love.

That was all that I needed. I knew it; I couldn't live without it, without her. And I knew that I wanted to make her feel loved and protected like I was with her.

This was what I wanted for us.


End file.
